By learning ways to communicate with your interviewer by building a connection with them, you can outrank anyone else getting interviewed for your position. How do you ask? There are tricks of the trade. There are tools and techniques like rapport, sensory acuity, matching and mirroring and anchoring.
This knowledge is derived from Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Neuro is the nervous system taking the environment through our five senses. It is a process of understanding how our mind and our body works with neurology to best direct it towards effective thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Linguistic is to become aware of we communicate with our self and others.
We interact by use of pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, and smells, as well as inter-dialogue. Programming is a specific tool and technique to rewrite or reprogram, upgrade, and install new “software” for peak performance in all aspects of your life.
Let’s look at the tools I mentioned. What is Sensory Acuity?
Sensory Acuity is an observation of a person fully. We can notice very minute details of their facial expressions and body language that gives us clues about what is going on with them internally. Observing what is going on externally create a change in their mental and emotional level.
It is also important to not assume you know exactly what they are thinking. As this skill is developed during various interactions we learn to better understand the possible meaning it represents. As human beings, we generally express emotions universally.
Especially with a person we just met, it is not recommended to assume. However, when we notice everyone we are in contact with daily meetings, we begin to know universal expressions.
Rapport is a comfortable level of trust and responsiveness with another person or people. People feel connected easily to people who are like them. Immediate connections happen when a feeling that they understand me becomes present. For an interview, this is an important aspect. Because learning about the person and the company you are going to be interviewed for is what will give you the necessary connection. Showing interest in the person interviewing and demonstrating that you know who they are giving them a clear indication that you are interested in being there. The conversation can lead to being hired – the prospect of that chance is higher.
Matching and Mirroring
Matching and Mirroring is a way to establish rapport.
Matching is doing something the other person is doing but in reverse image. If the person raises their left hand, you also raise your left hand.
Mirroring is being the mirror image of someone. If one person raises the right hand, the person mirroring raises the left hand.
Matching has a more subtle effect than mirroring, yet mirroring can create deeper unconscious levels of rapport.
Cross-over Mirroring is mirroring one area of physiology with another, such as breathing rate with a tapping finger rate.
In order to build strong rapport physiology, tonality and words can be used. People pay very little attention to words (7%). How you express with your physiology (55%) through posture, facial expression and blinking, gestures, and breathing makes the majority along with tonality (38%). How your voice, tone (pitch), tempo (speed), timbre (quality), volume (loudness) often helps with knowing what is being said between the lines.
Paying attention to language at the same time noticing all the minute changes in the face and body expression with how it is being said you can have an upper hand in creating a powerful, influential and just right answer.
Anchoring is a stimulus that is applied to an intense state. It can be used to recall any state of the past such as confidence, a peak performance level as in sport, ‘in the zone’ state and re-anchor into a new situation and/or into the future.
How to know if the rapport is happening well?
There are four keys we can notice that indicates rapport.
- A color shift
Using Sensory Acuity you can assess and notice a shift in skin color from light to dark.
- An internal feeling
Within you, there is a feeling of excitement or a knowing that the connection is present.
- A question of familiarity
The person may ask you a question such as
“You remind me so much of my favorite friend!”
“I feel like we have known each other for a long time.”
When you are able to lead the person to where you want them to be is the key. This is the whole purpose of making rapport between you and the person. Rapport created allows you to lead from one internal representation and therefore lead their mind and imagination.
How to use tonality patterns in conversations.
The meaning of your communication is strongly influenced by the tonality used by you. Tone affects the response you receive from others to your words. One way to effect rapport is by correctly matching the person. The tone you use at the end of the sentence creates varied results.
I feel I am the best person for your company?
I feel I am the best person for your company.
I feel I am the best person for your company.
We receive date through our five senses (seeing, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling) plus self-talk (internal dialogue). This is known as Representational System. Most people use four primary representational systems.
Visual (V) create and see pictures
Auditory (A) hears sounds
Kinesthetic (K) experiences feelings internally and externally (tactile)
Auditory Digital (AD) listens to self-talk internally
These two senses are not often given preference but possible inappropriate context to be important.
Pay attention based on this what phrases are being used. Such as sounds good, makes sense, got it, it looks good, I hear that I see that, it appears that and so on.
appear to me
caught my eye
look at it this way
look it over
see to it
under your nose
|hear me out
heard it all
listen to this
voiced an opinion
hear what I’m saying
|come to grips with it
jump on it
pull some strings
start from scratch
You feel me?
figure of speech
fits the criteria
pay attention to
to tell the truth
word for word
Examples of Communications
Just looking at your resume I can see you have the skills that we are looking for. Particularly, I like your experience with creating excellent sales with customers. Give me a picture of how you would fit into this company. Let me hear you out. Why should we hire you?
So tell me you are starting this job from scratch. Are you ready to jump into working hard? I see your education is from a number one university. Give me a feel for your abilities. Speak truthfully. Let me hear how you best suit our needs. How can you turn around our company into most sought out in the nation and even international?
As you ponder on these thoughts…….you feel curious as to how to form answers….that means your mind is opening new doors into creative thinking…because there are so many minor details to know about so much more….by the way, the sentences and thoughts integrate with full of power…..notice……hear….listen….feel….your gifts unfold……right before your eyes…..your brilliant mind is awake with knowledge of yourself and all that unique about you….become aware of all the subtle changes in one face…..matching breath of another in the same rhythm……staying focused and yet having expansive vision of all that is around you…..your mind absorbs information like a sponge……just what you need, when you need squeezes out….drop into yourself become present and speak just the way you like you want someone else to engage with you…..and see the magic happen…..
I feel the weight of my bones now..life was very depressing earlier with ambitions and expressions ruthlessly strangled even as they walked with faltering steps until the threshold..he would swirl the string and tighten it by stretching it in his hands than in one jerk take it around the neck of my ambitions, expressions and strangle them to death..and all that just in a snap..even now he does that..but now you are there and that gives me some power and strength to cope, to retort, to endure..:)